Nothing happened. 

Usual phonecalls, usual happily on phone conversations.

Usual web browsing. Usual stumbling into particular sites.

But this time, it was like everything crashing down.

Like looking up, and watching the ball of reality fall from up above.

Then right before things hit you,

You wakeup...... to realise how much you're uncertain of yourself, of things around you.

I miss how things used to be when... 

I miss how the past me used to be...

I miss how secure and contented I used to think I wuz.

I wish............. I could trust all of you more.

Trust you with my heart, Trust you with... keeping yourself safe and stop harming yourself.

Trust you both to get along more.

Mei, if you're reading this which i knw you wld.

Why isiz you always fail to spare a thought abt how we feel. That i hav feelings too, and I cry too. I got my fair share of up and down, and I went through the exact same path you're going thru now. It haunts me... to see how you are. I feel helpless, so helpless I hate myself for being once in the situation youre experiencing now. Sometimes I wonder was I the cause of all the shit you go thru. 

For you, 'What abt me?'  How much do I mean t you.

And, do i take the same standing in your heart, as how i placed you in mine?