Thursday, December 20, 2007 5:01 PM

I dont like Decemeber.
I dont like it when its Public holiday or weekend or something............. but nevertheless. No one's home(Well kind of?) . I hate it when Families go Christmas shopping; go for outing in Decembers.....but for my parents, December's the busiest month ever. Why.
I wish........ my birthday didnt fell in the month of December. I wish Dad will be home for dinner / my party tml. I wish....... i know im asking too much but who gets contented?.

I dont expect people to forgive me after stuff i say because im emotional ; but yet i so much yearn they do.
I dont expect ................................................... but i wish i still meant something to you, even after 4months.
I dont like it when people regard me as if im non-existance.
I dont like it when i have to pretend.

I dont like it when i'm alone. I feel insecure.

I miss my past; I miss the happennings this year.
I miss all the late night phonecalls i used t have with alot alot of my friends.
I miss all the laughters.
I miss all the dumb stupid hilarious stuff.
I miss i miss my family. I feel i dont treasure them enough....... Sometimes i think they're the best one ever can go find, But other times..... i feel neglected.
I miss my chongqing friends, They're the bestestzz people i met and get t knw well within such a short period of time. I miss my buddy that came over to Sg. I miss my buddy who took care of me when i went there. I miss i miss esp esp the most my Deskpartner there Wenbo , and basketballer Wangjiacheng!.
I miss my best best friend ........... We're still talking now and everything, but i feel the distant between each othernow. I miss it when long ago, we started stupid quarrels/talks online, we started crappy phonecalls, i miss it when long ago my best friend wld talk t me until i fall aslp late at night before hangingup, i miss it when long ago my bestest friend wld morning call me everyday single day of my life...(Well, almost every.) I miss it x98765432123456789 times.
And lastly, I miss i miss i miss i miss i misszzz my exboyfriend. Yes i miss you like x 142007 to the power of infinity times. The things we did tgr, your embrace, the everything you did for me, the sweet surprises i get from you everynow and then, the phonecalls, the smses you sent. I wont even mind quarrels from you now.......... but we dont even talk that often, where got get quarrels?. I've long became pehaps a mere passerby in your life.

I'm sorry for the rantings... i just felt everything 's seemingly falling apart, im desperately trying to salvage situations.........but i find myself messing them up worse ._____________________. Why?. Im okay i really am. I should be a happygirl. I've got the greatest grp of friends one cld find, even though some of them i dont talk t them often, but somefriends i know stay by me stand by me every single day of my life....... without me realising. I know that alot of people are just a phone call away....... if i would dial their numbers and open up w them.

I think im feeling better after all the rubbish ranting. Its just.................................... Nvrmind. I hate my severe moodswings that get me emotional and then happy again and then emotional again and then happy again. I want t be happy.