Wednesday, August 01, 2007 8:08 PM

o1o8o7
Its the first day of the month rememeber? & boy remember four months ago what happened?

{{{ I always needed time on my own
I never thought I'd need you there when I cry
And the days feel like years when I'm alone
And the bed where you lie is made up on your side
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
When you're gone
The pieces of my heart are missing you
When you're gone
The face I came to know is missing too
When you're gone
The words I need to hear to always get me through the day and make it okay
I miss you
I've never felt this way before
Everything that I do reminds me of you
And the clothes you left, they lie on the floor
And they smell just like you, I love the things that you do
When you walk away I count the steps that you take
Do you see how much I need you right now
We were made for each other
Out here forever
I know we were, yeah
All I ever wanted was for you to know
Everything I'd do, I'd give my heart and soul
I can hardly breathe I need to feel you here with me}}}


Today was okay; or at least i tried to be alrght
Except for the fact that i realised Gillian Yeo's taller than me D:
Not possible okaye, And Xiaoxuan snapped a picture of Gillian and i while talking && if she better not post that picture on her blog okaye!

ChongQing people are coming over on SATURDAY. And im gng 'jie1ji1' at arrival hall at 530am in the morning (:
Awman, i wonder if Chongqing friends i made the other time are coming or is it new batches of unfamiliar faces from other level coming over? And i dontknow if the teachers that took care of us are coming not; Its alrght, 3more days and i'd know since i cant get them through online):

Today went find that Crappy Nicholas Khoo for ' tuition ' after class and everythng elsee.
And gillian and i did maths, Plus i did one qns for titration, And after the whole thng three of us came to the conclusion that we're all hopeless people =/
So me and gillian desperately need TUITION TCHER since we are hopeless at our subjects. And we've got a tuition cher who's equally hopeless too D :
After that went parkway with Gillian to have icecream ;
But it no longer helps the way it once did; Not anymore; Icecream dont cheer me up the way it once did already
And i tried controlling my emotions. I tried not displaying and showing them; I tried to show the people who know me care about me that im alrght and okaye And that they shouldnt worry. And today during English what huixin said was right, and what i thought also; Crying too much infrnt of others will only make people see how weak you are and that Seriously; it irritates the hell out of people.
Yes, i realised that pointe, So all along now i controlled all my emotions; I didnt want cry anymore in school or outside. And it just sucks.
Its just bottling everythng you feel for the entire damn day And letting it all out only when you reach home and in your room.
Icecream didnt cheer me up like how it once did anymore
The light sticks Michelle gave me ; I've been lighting them again and again this few nights. But did it help? No, not anymore.
Im sorry for having to type this all out, But i really dontknow how long i can hold up the false fronts and everythng; I've tried very hard to already.
Today's the o1o8. I still very much clearly remember the sms we sent Four Months back. And that phonecall; And as i reread all the letters and lil notes you once wrote for me, the tears just cant stop rolling down. Four months ago, when everythng was alrght; Ididntknow how to treasure till its way too late now, But all along, Everythng i did, i meant it, And i truely do love you. Till today, i still do. Im sorry, Sorry that i dontknow how to let go, Dontknow how to learn accept reality Move on and stay the happygirl i thought i could be; Friends just aint the same anymore, And i do know how i told you if anythng ever happy i hope we'd stil be goodfriends. But right now i cant bring myself to call someone i truly still do love, someone whom once was my boyfriend, I cant bring myself to call you My Friend.