Friday, November 03, 2006 8:23 PM

REPLIES
chris;
okay i knw i haven been talking to you like how we usually did and its been ages since our long long one hour plus phone calls every night already & tht we haven been talking at all for this two days; i admit tht okayy. and i READ your blogpost today morning right after you woke me up and told me alreadyy.
heres the reply okay i really dont feel like talking cause there are really alot going through me im keeping things to myself and i dont care even if i die from tht; okayy
just let me be and im sorry okayy
and i knw i haven been listenning to your side although i guess and expect tht things hav gotten worst for you also; im sorry okay but i just cant take it anymore; not a thng more ;
im just begging you i'd rather not knw anythng else already i rather you keep things away frm me for now okayy
&iknwyouloveme; and i didnt didnt mean to push you away on purpose; it IS deliberate but i dont hav much choice either; i feel better this way okay?
<3

shumei;
thanks yeah! haha. i think you're at the airport now; belated bonvoyage(:

baofang;
you're most welcome cause i knw i will miss you thts y i called you; and paiseh if i disrupt your choir meeting just now.didnt knw.hehs. and you're also gng beijing tonight): will miss you tons and by the time you will read this i shall say welcome back! & thanks so much also (:

xinyi;
yes my favouritest senior also; thanks so much yeah; yup im so so so waiting for life to turn for a better but im impatient and waiting kills):

yurong;
yes you beautified my blog.lols.

hanle;
im suddenly so not looking forward to the trip. i dontknw why but i dont want to go suddenly god. and im again using tht trip as excuses frm some stuff and god i dontknw lahh. but dont wrry i will try to hav fun there okay (:



yes everythng went rough; im trying my best to put a brave front; im already forcing myself to do tht but i dontknw how long it can last
i donknw how long i can hang on
i dontknw how long longer i hav to wait for everythng to turn abit for the better;
i dontknw y life had to be lidat
i dont see why stuff are so unfair
i dont see y i hav to lie to myself and end up deceiving myself on so much
i dont see why i aint given more choices
i dont see why thngs happen at wrong times
i dont see whats becoming the worst of me

may i please choose to giveup?

& thanks ppl for always being there for me to crap with and for me to always feel so mcuh better later on(:
thanks yuling for being on the phone and crapping with me abt chongqing trip
& i did had my mind put off ytd with all d so many many neoprints we took ytd(: thanks ppl..

ps amanda& hanle i cant get y you want to bring me back those memories outside guanyinmiao lols