Friday, September 29, 2006 11:07 PM

this my second post within tonight and i knw i shld be piaing and studying real hard now but i AINT DOING so.

; whatever
i cant be bothered

i cant seem to find a place to vent out everythng on now
and dont mind me this my blog my life and i feel like venting everythng here right now for tts the only place i can do so

i feel like just givingup now already
i dont wanna lead on with my life now anymore
i dont wanna live a single second more now already so can i just GET OUT OF THIS WORLD
please.really please get me out here
please lahh
like really please i really dont wanna continue anymore
&hanle it AINT MY LIFE
it aint it anymore; it aint mine
i dontwanna it
its not mine. i dont care im searching all means to get it away from me and throw it away and murder it and kill it and i dont care

i really cant stnd everysingle thng going on right now
i cant stnd all the exams and like how many more papers we have to take?
i cant stnd all the after exam stuff either
and im not looking forward to receiving lisa sms or whatever or anythng tt gotta do with my piano result and if i didnt count or predict wrongly the result will be out in NINE DAYS TIME and im so gng kill myself by then cause i dont even wanna seehow BADLY I FAILED
and i totally flunk and screwed my zuowen and yingyong wen today alright
i totally flunk it like shyt when ths whole exam is so very important to me
and everythng all the papers ths few days will be like so important lah.
and im not studying hard enough nor giving my 100% till now
im not not not not not
what the hell am i doing lah?
i really dontknw lor
i want an ans on why all this all must happen to me
i dont understnd y
and its unfair
i hate my life right now
i dont wanna live a single day more
i wish i dont hav to see the sunrise tml morning
i wish i will just sleep tonight and then not wake up tml and forever already

everythng is complicated
everythng just aint tht simple and all tt
everythng there are so freaking much consequences
and everythng i cant get them right
im just doing everythng so badly
just really badly
whatever i do. even if i really really really tried my best
i still achieved the WORST results and most 'i dont wanna see' result
whats this lah?

whats my point of living when i just got everythng wrong
whats my point of living when everythng i do aint right
whats my point of living this freaking life which is totally meaningless already?
whats the point to go thru the SAME cycle EVERYDAY

im desperate for an answer for why everythng turned out this way
i dont understnd why it all had to be lidat
really dont understnd at all

and i dont wanna continue my life anymore
please get me OUT of this world now
like PLEASE

i cant stnd everythng going thru
i cant stnd the harsh realities
i cant take the dumb and cruel facts of life
i cant take the repeated failures
i cant take the blows and everythng

call me a perfectionist or what so ever
but i want everythng RIGHT
i dont wanna everythng to go WRONG
i want everythng to go my way the right way and desired way
and when things go OTHER WAY ROUND
i hate it and feel tt i did SUPER LOUSY already
and its just tht fact

i cant stnd everythg going thru me
all those you dontknw and will never knw and no one wil knw
everythng is painful
all the facts are cruel
and worst still all i do just cant be done well enough for my desired results

crying dont help
shouting and screaming it out wont help
venting it will do nothing
then what you want me to do lah?!

please get me out of my life
i dont wanna face anythng anymore
im pure frustrated and stressed up now already
you dont hav to care if you dontwant to
just care about yourself
and get out of my life
you dont niida care abt me
me being dead or alive is NONE OF YOUR BUSSINESS
AND ITS MY LIFE ANYWAY
so i can do whatever i want to it
and i cant stnd everythng
i dontwanna see the nxt daybreak

please bring me out of my life~
please get me out of this all~
please just leave me to bleed away~