Sunday, September 24, 2006 9:07 PM

really very confused and lost now
i dontknw what to type either
shall just learn to stop typing and venting lidat and just shuddup

dont wanna type the wrong stuff here; its true.no point showing my feelings all out this way.
maybe learning to be fake and superficial and just mask all the scars is better
i;d just hide everythng.
its better aint it?

im sorry.realy sorry.i didnt mean it nor expect it.
i cried too. and i cried reallly badly..im still crying right now while having this dumb post
and i read the whole convosations AGAIN.its STUPID to do so right. i knw. but i just did anyway.and cried my heart out--
i dont blame you nor hate you. but i just didnt knw the feeling you had didnt die.you was the one who hurt me badly LASTTIME. i didnt knw you was lying.i swear i didnt knw. im sorry. i truely am. if it aint possible for friendship which i really wldnt mind.then im sorry. its not possible anymore. my heart is with him and i love him truely-
you probably wont ever read this post i suppose.but if you do.well.this just what i wanna tell you.
im really sorry and i really dont hate you; i still hope for a friendship but if you find it not possible. i really got no choice. you knw my personality and all. dont force me to the extreme please. im really sorry its my fault and yeah. just SORRY though i knw its pointless

and i hope you dont misunderstnd me. i WONT get back to him for i love you ONLY now, and tml, and always till i dontknw

was i the one hurting him or were he the one hurting me?? i donknw. REALLYdontknw