Friday, September 01, 2006 10:06 AM

piano exam is on just next wednesday.
and i still haven been putting in enough effort to practise hard enough
and im so always not in d mood for practise
i dont get why things freaking have to turn this way

literature presentation is TOMORROW

and there is a pile of so much holiday hwk
and then i swear i wanna complete all of them BEFORE monday so that i can concentrate on revision which i badly need. im desperate already
think im so gng flunk my eoy papers

and right now. im totally down already.
and im so gng flunk my gradeseven piano
didnt practise today after piano lesson lah

i wanna cry everything out
really want to cry already
i cant hold on anymore
im barely holding on already
im just gng let go sooner or later

im just falling and screwing totally.
im scared really.

i feel totally alone already
yeah. its the same feeling as walking down the street like i did that day at night and being all alone in the darkness with all strangers brushing past beside you


whatever


i dont feel like doing anything now.
& yurong complained and insist that i post events. so alright shall post about yesterday.
i dont wanna do anything right now anyway.
so okay. yesterday
i reached school early at 6.50 lidat as what i promised yuling and end up only seeing eunice at audi and dear yuling came pretty late. L0L.
and then we came and then we went to change. and hanle was complaining about her skirt all the way. but in end she figured that mine was shorter okay. hanle, who is worst lah. lols
and i think i look totally weird wearing smth lidat in school.
then it was so soon our performance time. we are like the first item..
and when our first song the first line was out. the whole school was laughing like crazy already.
and it was so embarassing. to sing dui mian de nv hai kan guo lai
errr. l0l!
but i think our effort haven been wasted.staying back till so freaking late almost everyday just to reherse for that.its worth it after all
then i think the seccond song was even ermm..L0L. and the dance moves for duo ke ai de mei gui hua by xuan and amanda are erm..funny? i dontknw lah. but yes. the last part got the audience to cheer though.
andy was the star for yu zhong ji jing. yup. thanks so much andy for willing to drive 'taxi' the car out. yupp. and yes. sorry andy!. iforgot to make your taxi sign! and andy was seriously very cute drivin tat toy car on stage!
yup.. thenlater the teachers also put up performance and they COPIED our idea of using chinese oldies! L0L.but it was super funny.(:

then after school. share cab back with thomas and kaijin to taonan
kaijin was telling me mdmtan retired already! L0L. please lah. be more sensible can? mdm tan is like at most 30plus40 only. stupid lah.haha.then he told me yuanjing laoshi went back china le. urmm.that news is like lastyear? LoL. haha.kaijin was funny and crappy yesterday. and on the taxi back i seriuosly dontknw what thomas and kaijin talking about. they were like joking so much and i cldnt catch a single thing.

at taonan kaijin was suanning me and thomas that we dontknw the way to staffroom and tt we cld lost our way in tns. -.-!! lols.finefine.haha. but i still made my way to the staffroom!haha
then we were seraching for mdmtan seat in staffroom.realised she wasnt there. disappointing.but nvrmind. left her present on her table and i used her paper to leave a note. lol. so paiseh

then we went down to foyerA1 [did i get the place correct?] and met titus there.err. yeah.haha. and he was telling us where mrs and mdm tan both were. say at our 6g classroom and 6h respectively. serious. i really doubted him when he told us that. cause he gave me the impression of still the playful.funny.joking.and maybe cute titus i had knwn for two years. i really thought he'd trick the 3 of us into climbing all the way to the forth storey lah.but he didnt (: yup. and ruici lizhi plus a few more were there. then basically was lidat. chatted awhile.then kaijin thomas went play soccer with titus and company le.
and i was sort of totally alone for the rest of my time there. i ended up talking on the phone throughout the onehour plus with linli and sengchuan.sounds very dumb to be on phone with ppl you meet almost everyday in school whenyou are for once in your primary school.but yeah. i just did so cause i was totally bored and awkward walking round the sch aimlessly. and really srry sengchuan in d end your hp no batt..paiseh!

and it totally hurts that we are walking opposite directions on purpose. maybe you didnt. but i did so on purpose. take it as i dont wanna see you nor face you then. i felt totally lonely without you. but again. i knw i wont feel totally great with you either.

after that was with zhiyi. jie i seriuosly dontknw why you are angry with me?
how did i offend you again lah ?
i really dontknw. and it totally sux to see that our friendship keeps falling on the cliff.
its hurtful. drop me an sms okay. at least tell me what and why you angry with me .
anything im sorry okay

i've learn that everything tts gone wrong.its my fault always

and yes. rachel i loveyou! hahas. thanks for the big hugg you gave me in canteen. yup. and thanks so much for remembering me when you forgot so much of the rest!hahas..

basically thats what happened already. yurong. the second half of my post about events is dedicated to you okie?
i didnt break my promise to you to post events le.
yup. you better are reading this post okay. im posting it for you de

twoBENEVOLENCE rocks to much for rocking the stage
and no matter what i still love 6geeoh4. 5g'03 and 4g '02 (: ''''''''