Monday, September 25, 2006 8:33 PM

i dontknw what im doing now. i really dontknw.

i myself am shattering with all thats going on so suddenly alreadyy
i dont see y everythng happen at the same time

and it really hurts alot to see a close friend whom i saw as someone who always was there to encourage me to go on suddenly got so discouraged and all. you kept telling me all the brighter stuff in d past. but right now. you aint doing so. you showed me the weaker side of yourself. im glad you shared.really glad you trusted me enough to tell me. but it really hurt me alot to the extend i really cried. i'd always believe you and i hope you'd just do what you always always told me. whatever happens. you are still the one i look up and count on. and it really hurts to find you suddenly becoming lidat-
it hurts and i finally understood how i so called hurt you unintnetionately with my actions. just that i understood it only thru feeling it the same way

and it aint possible btwn us. why must he confuse me so much now?
why cant he learn to let go of me? its so long alreadyy.i dont understnd this lah. i really dont.
i will only hurt him more having him still holding on his feelings while my heart aint with him. but i cant do anythng either..
its just too late. im really sorry.
i once loved you. maybe i wld still do so.if circumstances aint lidat.but you really hurt me a hell lot last time when you ignored me completely without a word.
but why do you still love me so much now?! didnt you say its puppy. and now you are saying you will wait, im with him already. and i love him wholeheartedly and i trust he do so the same
im begging you dont confuse me lidat-
i wonder if you'd ever end up at this blog someday and read this all. i hope no.
but all this i do. its still because i dont wanna hurt you deeper and i love him

yes. im confused and this friday is EOY. im flunking it compleltely. triple science is a HOPELESS lie alreadyy.xinyi.sorry ah. its not tt im not taking your advices and faith you hav in me and all tat. i trust what you told me. but yeah. not possible. you can start saving up. im okay with a combine science nowi dont care

im not gng care abt my life anymore