Friday, September 08, 2006 9:01 PM

can't take this not anymorethe lies ;the pain; the thoughts; the everything pilingg
I just rather hide them deep inside myself where nobody will look
All the fairy tale say once upon time~
Deep down inside there I was confused
once upon a time and then happily ever after
isiz still all this we have in present
no. they arent.not anymore
its just naive thinkings
i want my fairytale
i want to just have a dream of it and then
Never will i want to come out of that dream already~~

Nothings wrong~ if you don't ask
I may look happy during the day but I cry myself to sleep at night
No one knows no one cares
i'd so wanna escape now
i wanna run away
just look and you'll see what's left of me
i lost practically everything already
just lost all thats important and what i needed
i lost them alreadywhats inside me; its totally empty now
maybe im even losing my heart and soul sooner or later

its all a dead end already
i dont wanna argue with you over that alright
i knw you care. but yeah. im sorry.im just disappointing you
and you dont hav to deny i ever disappointed you either
cause i did and m doing it still
im sorry;i truely am; and i cant help doing what i did which break your heart either

i told you i swear i really did try.
really.
i did try
but as i said again
i failed
i tried and failed and failed very very badly

i dont wanna force my way through things
its like whats the point
forcing wont bring me far nor happiness
its really meaningless
for this im sure
at least nearly very and too sure

i dont get why things had gone to this state for me already
its just going a bit off and too far
and i cant stnd this
not anymore

& sunthai i still am continuing breaking that promise i made to you 2 or three weeks back
still continue doing things that way
i cant help it
but i cant stnd it either
i dontknw how much longer more i nidda take to face all that bravely

i dontknw whats becoming in me already

dont wanna walk on
not anymore
i'd just rather giveup already
its totally meaningless lah
and i cant stnd all this

crying
its a stab that gone too deep and hurt too much
just totally a shattered feeling

and right now.
im giving up on piano already
just giving up on everything
forget it already lah

i dont feel like blogging anymore
and i knw im just ranting and venting here
maybe i shld just hav this whole entire blog deleted off
makes no sense to hav it up on the web