Sunday, August 06, 2006 11:47 AM

i still haven completed nor started on hwk yet
and im totally and terribly lost now.

and tml is so gng be a long day.
SEVENperiods of lessons
SEVEN hello!
i rather have PCCG and assembly
but yet the last two periods are gng be TUESDAY periods.

i feel that everything is pilling up in me.

flower in the rain-- i believe you. but are you SURE?
im not doubting you. but yes, i just dont have the confidence in life anymore.

broken up deep inside
but you wont get too see the tears i'd cry
behind those eyes

im try.and failing and trying. i dontknow how to control my feelings and emotions already.

and i just read zoey's post.
i hope she dont mind. but i really find what she wrote totally true and interesting:
""there are no really true friends anymore. even the friends that we think always stick together complain about each other behind the backs. ""
i dontknow whats happenning either.
but i end up distancing so much from them.
we used to be the closest of friends
we used to go around together
but im just all alone now
and always out of place
there is like no where and no other group of friends i could stick close to already
im just so OUT
just so freaking left out already
although i cant deny there are still OTHERS but it just aint the same.
im just going inbetween ppl.
i dont have a fixed group of true friends anymore
not like what i had in the past.
its just so different

and even if i found a totally true friend.
we are both just so far away apart.
just so so far away apart
liuqing[from chongqing] probably understnds alot now.
and he was always there to listen on QQ.always.
and even if i didnt say anything he will just always be sweet and nice enough to tell me that he'd be there to listen if im unhappy that day.
he always begins his convo with me lidat. and then we always had so much to share.
but we are just TWO DIFFERENT world.
but again. he really tried his best to understnd whats going on too.
but its not as if i could turn to him EVERYTIME RIGHT.
NO I CANT.
no one could understnd me from a point of view of a FRIEND.
maybe none even tries. even so its just like one? two? and in the past. it was always YOU PPL whom i went to whenever i cried. but NOW?
our whole friendship is totally on the cliff.
im just another total stranger to you all.

my true friends are just SO FAR AWAY APART.. maybe those that are willing to listen,
those willing to help,
they are just you SENIORS out there.
and surprisingly the chongqing friends even esp liuqing. and HIM.
no one else i can be very close to could be there for me anymore
i wanna salvage our friendshiip.
i know its totally pointless to say all this here.
cause i knw you ppl probably aint even reading this blog.
this blog is totally dead already.
how many ppl reads it lah? chris?baofang?sc?tony? i dontknw! there are ppl who dont read and just tag only. im sure. and maybe there are ppl who read and dont tag?

and i dontknw what i really did wrong to end up the cause of friendship to be so so so pathetic now.
i always regarded you ppl as my best friends. but now i finally understnd what is said and meant. zoey is right. there are no really true friends anymore.
ofcourse there are good friends. but yeah. no totally true ones anymore.