Sunday, July 09, 2006 10:47 PM

the feeling of lost and confusion still exists. many matters. really i dontknow which path to choose. its like i reached a path whereby it is sub divided..and then im suppose to walk thru either one. and pick either one of the path. i dontknow what will happen inside if i walk the left side. and what if i walk the right side.. what if one of them leads to a dead end?

i tried to take it as if i was perfectly okay. but again like what felicia had once told me before. at the end of the day. I STILL HAVE TO ANSWER TO MYSELF..

im still unsure about the piano exam withdrawal thing. got scolded by dad when i told him about it today. he felt tht i was wasting time and everything. thinks that its because i didnt practise well enough..then blame me..and in d end even said that it was lisa fault.its like. i did what sunthai told me to. talk to my parents. but tis is what i get back you know. i tried to talk things with my dad. but in d end. it always end up lidat. he will start nagging and scolding me. and then i just cant stand it. u cant expect me to continue sitting down beside him listenning to him reason things his way right?
we just cant talk things out like we did in the past now.
i ended up locking myself in my bedroom again. then i was like crying when i dozed off. and i slept for like an hour? a phone call woke me up. but im glad the call came. i felt better really.thanks chris for calling just at the time i always needed. somehow ur timing are always very accurate you know. hahas.

today i did nothing much. but i did something somehow also. just that i did things in a more relaxed way and didnt press myself for once.
afternoon i practised the eds pieces. friday is the FINALS. jiayou ppl (: i sure hope xinyi can make it. cause im like 80% sure i still wont get the notes right?
and then i practised..and then i played just ONE of the grade seven exam piece on piano. just the 'for johnny megan' piece..

today my greatest achievement is that i really did STUDY tingxie okay.haha.i was bored at home. and so i studied. and even studied the whole of chapter 19 and 20 of hcl tb. checked the dictionary for the meaning for almost every word etc okay.haha.tis lame. but at least.im glad i did SOMETHING.

okay and so i broke the promise of not doing anything.

hmms.

then today.. i guesss..my mind is 90% set already. maybe.im saying just MAYBE I SHANT WITHDRAW FROM SEPT PIANO EXAM.
shall continue thinking about it..
hmms. thanks alot for those ppl whom i asked about tis on whether to withdraw not kie. i know overall still depends on ME.but at least. its really good to hear your suggestions also. (:
thanks alot yeah. esp to chris, my seniors,amanda,yujun and anyone else

okay im gng slp soon already.
tomorrow the chongqing ppl are cominng! hehs.

im still so stuck in the maze.thanks for being there alway people